Comments on: A Sobering Letter to the Wife With the Filthy House

By: Tina

Tina — Sun, 08 May 2016 04:01:43 +0000

This is so great and true. It is so important in our society to be frank sometimes. I have seen so many spouses miserable over such things as this, and frankly, I makes my heart ache for them. I would not want my marriage to be jeopardized over things like these. I think the root of the man’s issues is that her heart doesn’t seem to be there, and I think that is where it can easily be remedied. Couples need to clearly communicate their emotions. It isn’t about what is or isn’t being done, but that he feels alone. Kudos for this article.

By: Rachel

Rachel — Sun, 08 May 2016 03:03:29 +0000

WOW… I was actually kind of embarassed reading this. It felt like you knew me personally. My husband is not interested in divorce, but in a clean home with the family he loves. I’m trying to do better. Honestly I am. I have a hard time staying focused very long. I’m back and forth, instead of getting things done one task at a time…and I always check Facebook and Pinterest. Its like an addiction. I rarely post, but I like to read. I have 3 kids, ages 8, 7, and 4, so we have a lot of toys and clothes..but when company is coming, I can get it done. Maybe we should plan for company daily? You know, the most important company: our hubbies. I think I’m going to try that. Thank you for this post. I thank you from the depths of my heart.

By: Daneale

Daneale — Sat, 07 May 2016 23:48:43 +0000

Love the thoughts posted. In my house, my husband and I both put out effort as time affords. I do stay home with my kids, homeschool the kids and I also work from home where hours can vary between 15-50 hours a week. Obviously when I am busy, my cleaning efforts are put by the way side. But luckily my husband will jump in and help. If I am not busy and he is, I put in more time. And I do find it SO important to involve the kids. Because we are in the house SO much, they really need to step up and help. They made the mess in most cases and they need to clean it up. I started training my kids when they were young to help and they are now 11, 9 and 8. I don’t know what I would do without their help. They all know how to put groceries away, fold their own clothing, sweep and mop floors, clean the toilets and tubs, etc. And while their cleaning isn’t always as perfect as mind, if they try their best, I don’t redo any of their work. Also, we definitely don’t have an uber clean house. But we do try and keep on top of things weekly. When they have down time, they aren’t allowed to go out and play with friends until they do their chores. I recently purchased the books Managers of Their Homes and Managers of their Chores. Both are great resources. I have also seen a list on Fly Lady’s website about how to clean every part of your house in 365 days. I haven’t had a chance to fully read both book selections nor implement any formal schedules but am excited to tackle this over the summer. My hope is to implement a low stress but consistent and predictable schedule so that we can be increasingly steadfast in keep the house more organized and clean.

By: Lorene

Lorene — Sat, 07 May 2016 21:23:14 +0000

I’m not married, but I work a full time job 12 hour days..I have 5 pets, 3 dogs 2 cats..and yes it gets messy..if his wife works outside the home then half of that is his responsibility.

By: Dena

Dena — Sat, 07 May 2016 21:19:58 +0000

Excellent post! I struggle in this area, also. I LOVE FlyLady, and Sink Reflections is an AWESOME book! It changed me. And, when I start not doing so well, again, (and it does happen), I remember to get back into some good routines and things get much better again. I was doing much better recently, until the flu bug hit our house, and then things got really bad, really fast. Today is the day I started getting things back in order. I still have work to do, and thanks to this post, my motivation is back.

I agree with your list of things to do that help make the home look more tidy. Very true! I especially feel better when the kitchen is tidy, floors are clean, and the dining room table is clear of all clutter.

I just recently wrote a blog post about this exact struggle. I would love for you to check it out here: https://stringstowings.net/2016/04/22/more-chaos-less-order/.

Thanks again for helping me get re-motivated.

By: MaryEllen

MaryEllen — Sat, 07 May 2016 19:19:37 +0000

In reply to Tot Deg. "It takes two to make a dirty home and clean a dirty home." (Or more if you have kids!) In the case of the particular email I received, the husband felt like he was the only one doing any of the work and that his wife wasn't even trying. I don't know them, but assuming what he says is true, I think the loving thing for her to do would be to step up and pull her weight.

By: MaryEllen

MaryEllen — Sat, 07 May 2016 19:14:53 +0000

In reply to Kathie. You're very right, Kathie. I do, however, want my family to remember the time I was able to spend with them without being a grouch because I was tripping over things or couldn't find clean dishes to serve them their dinner. It's a balance!

By: MaryEllen

MaryEllen — Sat, 07 May 2016 19:13:10 +0000

In reply to Jean | DelightfulRepast.com. Thank you, Jean!

By: MaryEllen

MaryEllen — Sat, 07 May 2016 19:12:24 +0000

In reply to Storms. I'm sorry. That must be very frustrating. All you can do is what you can do. He has to be responsible for his own actions.

By: MaryEllen

MaryEllen — Sat, 07 May 2016 19:10:10 +0000

In reply to Liesa Jones. Praying you'll be able to find the right balance between helping your husband and getting the housework done! I'm sure that's tough!