Motivate Your Child to Do Right
I'm reading a new book this month called Motivate Your Child: A Christian Parent's Guide to Raising Kids Who Do What They Need to Do Without Being Told. I haven't gotten very far yet, but the little bit I've read so far has been great! I've already been mulling over some things I read — and that was just the introduction!
In spite of being raised in a great Christian home, growing up in a church where there was much teaching on the home, and even taking college courses on the Christian home, there is always something more that I can learn — and I have!
About the book:
God's Word gives us a better way to parent, one that builds strong internal motivation in children. When parents change the way they parent, kids change the way they live. Motivate Your Child is a practical book that explores a theology of internal motivation and then gives parents real-life solutions to equip their kids for life.
In order to motivate parents to Pre-Order the book, the National Center for Biblical Parenting is offering a $150 package of resources for FREE! There are video, audio and print items that can be used on a variety of devices. You can learn more on the Book Website.
Pre-Order the book now from any retailer, and then follow the instructions below.
INSTRUCTIONS: Purchase the book. Email the receipt to gift@biblicalparenting.org. The NCBP will send you the link and a special code to access these downloadable products. This offer is good until January 31, 2015.
Wet Oatmeal Kisses
I came across this poem in a book and it was such a powerful reminder not to wish the years away!
Know a mom who needs some encouragement? Feel free to share!
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Why I’m Okay With a Messy House
Let me fill you in on a dirty little secret.
My house stays a mess.
Like a really big mess.
Like if you come over unannounced I'll be really embarrassed mess.
But here's why I'm okay with my messy house:
1. I have a messy personality.
I'm not saying that personality is an excuse to be lazy and undisciplined. And I'm not saying it's a reason not to try to be more organized either.
But as long as I'm trying my best — working at keeping the mess cleaned up, learning better ways to keep things clean, and just generally giving it my best effort, then at the end of the day I have nothing to be ashamed of. Stressing over it and wishing things are different isn't going to change the fact that being organized isn't my strong point. (Ahem. I just smelled something strange and found a pot of rice burning on the stove that I'd completely forgotten about! But hey, at least I was trying to make dinner for my family right? There's no guilt in that!)
2. The mess means we live here.
The dishes mean I've been cooking up something for my family to eat. The craft supplies laying out mean the kids have been ultra-creative today. (We're still working on teaching them to clean up after themselves!) The shreds of ripped-up tissues (unused!) mean I have a curious little baby who gets into everything, and that's okay! She's developing into a healthy, active little girl. There's so much loud, lively chaos going on at all times of the day (and sometimes night!) that I cannot stay on top of it all. I'm just so thankful for this family God has given me!
3. I'm investing my time in teaching the kids how to clean.
I'm honestly trying to focus more of my time on teaching the kids how to clean than I am actually doing the cleaning. I'm hopeful that the time investment will pay off in the long run, and I think it will. When my 3 year old wants to help unload the dishwasher, I let him help me, even though it takes 5 times as long. When my 5 year old wants to learn how to put the dirty dishes in, I teach her how, even though it is a slow process (and even though previously mentioned baby is destroying who-knows-what while we do it.) Am I the only one who can't stand the dishwasher to be loaded the “wrong” way??
But guess who knows how to unload the dishwasher all by himself now? Or sweep the floor? Or take out the trash? Yes – my oldest who started slowing me down as soon as he started walking. But since I've taken the time to teach him these things, he can now do them – and do them properly – without any help. His younger siblings are not too far behind, although that doesn't necessarily mean they comply when asked to do a chore.
Which brings me to my final, and most important point…
4. I'm focusing my time on the eternal as opposed to the temporary.
As I've already mentioned, I am not the most organized person in the world. While some mothers are able to manage to keep their houses clean while also finding the necessary time to train their children in the things of the Lord, I – to put it simply – am not.
I've been told that my children are unusually willful. Whether or not that is true, I don't know, but I do know that their training has been immeasurably more difficult than I ever could have imagined.
Hours upon hours have been spent behind closed doors instructing my children in the way of righteousness. Sometimes I wonder if they're deaf. There are many — no, I honestly think most – days where the only thing I manage to get done is to go in and out of the bedroom correcting, teaching, and praying over children, many times disciplining for the same offense over and over and over again. (I'm told their father was rather hard-headed as a child. I'd sure be grateful if they turn out like him, but in the meantime, well – it's just flat out difficult.)
I'm unwilling to give up the fight. If I lose my children, I've lost everything. And if that means I have to give up a clean house to teach them that a life surrendered to the Lord is the only life worth living, it's a price I'm willing to pay.
I used to feel very guilty and stressed out about the constant mess (and I still do sometimes.) But for the most part, I've found joy in this place. The place of knowing that I'm fulfilling my most important calling as a mother. The calling to raise up a generation of people who love the Lord with all their heart.
Do I need to work hard to try to do both (keep things clean and spend time training my children)? Absolutely.
But if it comes down to one or the other, I'm choosing to be okay with a messy house.
(See also: Letting Go of Homemaker's Guilt)
How to Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions
Do you make New Year's Resolutions? Do you ever actually keep them?
I enjoy making goals at the beginning of each new year. They really help me focus my time on what's most important.
But it's very easy to make resolutions that you'll never keep if you're not careful. Here are some tips to help you create goals that you can actually reach!
1. Be specific.
New Year's Resolutions are often nebulous ideas like “lose weight”, “exercise”, “eat more healthy”, “be a better wife, mom, friend, etc.”
How can you stick to something that's not even clear? A better idea would be to create a goal to lose x pounds this year or to eat one salad every day. Make a goal to write a love note to your husband or bake his favorite treat once a week. Make it your goal to spend 15 minutes of one-on-one time with each of your children every day.
2. Don't wait to start.
If you shouldn't be eating junk food on Jan. 1, you shouldn't be eating junk food on December 31st either. If you should be exercising on January 1, you should be exercising Dec. 31st too. Whatever it is that you know you should be doing — you should start right now! If you're not going to discipline yourself to start now, you're not going to discipline yourself to keep at it either. Developing good habits is a daily choice you have to make, and if you're not willing to make that choice today, you're definitely not willing to make it for a whole year.
3. Break your goals down.
If you make a goal to spend more one-on-one time with your kids, figure out how and when you are going to do that. You can't keep a commitment if you don't have a plan for actually seeing it through!
4. Re-evaluate Periodically
Go through next year's calendar and pencil in dates with yourself to do this (once a month is good) so that you don't forget! Have your good intentions of writing a love note to your husband turned into reality? If not, why? What do you need to change so that you actually accomplish your goal? Is your goal something you need to cross off your list altogether?
5. Get an accountability partner
Give your spouse, friend, blog readers(?) a list of your goals so they can check up on you periodically. If you've determined to only eat one dessert a month, your hubby can hold you to it when he sees you sneaking treats out of the freezer or pantry. 🙂
(Speaking of accountability partners — this is totally random, but I just remembered because of the terminology. If you sign up for Covenant Eyes before December 31, you'll get 2 months free. Our family uses and loves Covenant Eyes for protecting ourselves and our children from internet pornography. It's a price we're more than willing to pay. If you'd like to give it a try, sign up here and use the coupon ONLINESAFETY to get the 2 free months.)
What other tips do you have for keeping your New Year's Resolutions?
A Letter to the Child I Never Knew
Dear Little One,
It was eight years ago today that I first learned of your existence.
It was the first Christmas your dad and I were spending as a married couple, and I was miserable. We were visiting relatives on his side of the family, aunts and uncles that I didn't know. I had a horrible head cold and wasn't feeling well. We had just finished a Christmas service at the church your dad's relatives attended and we decided to stop at the drugstore on our way back to the house and grab something for my sinuses.
As I read the instructions on the box, I joked to your dad, “It says ‘Do not take if pregnant.' I hope it's okay to take this!”
I had no idea I was pregnant. My periods were always irregular and sometimes I would skip a month, so I never even tried to keep track of whether I'd missed or not.
When we got back to the house, I started having severe abdominal cramps. “Oh great. I'm already miserable with this cold and now I'm going to start my period too!”
The cramps got worse and worse. This was the worst cramping I'd felt in a long time. And it felt a little different than usual too.
I got up to go to the bathroom, hoping to relieve some of the pressure.
I'd been in there quite a while with no relief when suddenly I felt something pop and I passed what felt like a huge clot of blood. But I immediately knew something unusual was going on. I stood up and looked into the toilet and I could see a mass of…something. I wasn't quite sure what.
I had to get down really close and look very carefully, but I could make out what seemed to be arms…or legs…or…something. Could it be?
I left the toilet unflushed and went to get your dad. He has better eyes than I do.
“I…think that's what we're seeing.” Neither of us actually said the word “baby”.
We were in disbelief at what we saw.
But we had to agree that's what it had to be.
I don't know whether I flushed the toilet or your dad, but I still feel guilty about it every time I think about it. We just didn't know what else to do with a big mass of urine, blood, toilet paper, and…a baby. I'm forcing myself to write those words. I need to.
I couldn't bring myself to use that bathroom for the rest of our visit. I felt like I was desecrating your precious body by using the bathroom in that toilet.
I cried, but not tears of grief. I cried because that is what a mother who has lost a child is supposed to do.
I hadn't learned to love you yet because I didn't even know of your existence yet until that moment.
I felt completely numb. In shock.
I also felt guilty. Guilty for taking the medicine. Guilty for flushing you down the toilet.
When we got back home from our visit, I took a pregnancy test which confirmed that there were in fact pregnancy hormones running around in my body. You hadn't been part of our imagination. You were real.
All these years I've kept pretty quiet about your existence. I've had a hard time acknowledging that you did in fact exist. The whole experience of learning of your existence, meeting you, and losing you all in one short moment left me feeling so very strange.
I never knew you.
But you are real. You are a living soul that I will one day meet in heaven.
I am your mother. You are my child.
And today I simply want to acknowledge that.
I no longer want to dismiss the value of your life simply because your birth and death were so far out of the norm.
And I hope that by writing this I can encourage other mamas who may have shared a similar experience that it's okay to acknowledge their babies. They don't have to keep quiet about it. I'd tell the world all about any of your siblings. Why should I be ashamed to talk about you too? Your life is every bit as valuable as theirs. And some day we're going to get to know one another.
Until then, I'm so glad you have a heavenly Father who loves you far more than your earthly mother and father ever could. One day I will thank him for your life.
Love,
Mommy
P.S. Today I cried. Really cried. Not because that's what someone who loses a baby is supposed to do. I cried because I love you.
Best Homemaking Posts of 2014
I have collaborated with some of my fellow bloggers at Alternative Living Network to bring you the best Homemaking Posts of 2014.
(Including links here does not necessarily mean I endorse all the content from every blog listed. As you should always do, please read with discretion.)
If you need some inspiration and tips for homemaking, this list will keep you busy for a good while!
Healthy Meal Planning and Cooking
How to be a “Real Food” Eater Without Letting it Rule Your Life
Healthy Eating 101 – Where Do I Start?
How to Convert Recipes to “Real Food” Recipes
Healthy Food You Can Buy at Aldi
Freezer Cooking 101 – Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4
How to do Meal Planning and Freezer Cooking
Meal Plan with Printable Calendar
How to Take a Freezer Inventory
Stocking the Real Food Pantry, Fridge, and Freezer
How to Meal Plan When You Don't Have Time
Practical Ways to Practice Real Food Hospitality
5 Recommended Real Food Cookbooks
Choosing and Brewing Perfect Tea Every Time
Time Management
The Time Management System that Changed My Life
Creating Morning and Evening Routines
Getting It All Done When You Don't Feel Well
Tools for Homemaking Productivity
Cleaning
Spring Cleaning Game Plan and Checklist
Natural Spring Cleaning Supplies
How to Do Laundry for 8 People in One Day
Green Living
How to Replace Paper Towels with Cloth
How to Switch from Disposable to Reusable
Real Life Inspiration
Inspiration & Faith
Letting Go of Homemaker's Guilt
One Simple Word That Could Change Your Home
What I've Learned About Homemaking From the Older Generation