The Thing Most Parents Forget About Their Kids

“How many times do I have to remind you to take out the trash?” My frustration mounts as I turn and notice his bare feet. “And why do you not have something on your feet? You know you're not supposed to go barefoot in the winter.”  As I spin around and walk out of the kitchen, I catch  a glimpse of his room.  Oh my!  I start to hit him with another reminder of what he hasn't done properly, but decide against it.  I can't take credit for this; I can only thank the Lord for showing me this through something I read somewhere, but — it's hard to be a kid!  So as I caught myself beginning to let my son have a piece of my mind for everything he'd messed up on that day, I stopped and let him focus on emptying the trash instead.  And then I thanked him for his hard work.

JUST IMAGINE

Imagine trying to learn English as a second language.  There are so many spelling and grammar rules! And once you learn them all you find out about all the millions of exceptions to those rules and all the nuances that make a rule not apply in that instance.  (How about spelling tough, through, though, and thought?)

What if you were working as hard as you could to memorize all those rules, but your teacher yelled at you every time you forgot one?  Or worse yet, when you did remember the rule, but you still got in trouble because it wasn't supposed apply in that instance?  How frustrating would that be?  Wouldn't it be a lot more reasonable for the teacher to remind you of the rule or to explain why there was an exception?  Marking your grade down a little will probably help you recognize your weaknesses and work on cementing those particular areas in your mind a little better.  But it would be ridiculous if your teacher gave you an F on a quiz for missing one answer.

Now, what must it be like to be a child?  So many rules to learn!  For the record, we don't really teach kids that there is a great big list of do's and don'ts and that they have to learn them or else!  But nevertheless, there are general principles of living that everyone must follow if they're going to grow up to be a decent adult.

To name a few basics:

If it's not yours, don't touch it.
If you get it out, put it away.
If you've been given a job to do, do it to the best of your ability.
Unless it's hurting them or someone else, don't tattle on other people.

Now, think about all of the nuances to those rules!

“Well, yes, honey.  You're not supposed to touch things that aren't yours, but when you saw your sister had carried mommy's phone into the bathroom and set it on the back of the toilet, you could have brought it to me before it got knocked in.”
“Well, no.  You're not supposed to tattle, but when your brother is drawing on the chair with a sharpie, you should definitely tell me about it.”
“i know you need to put your toys away, but we're going to be late!  You should already be in the car!”

TOUGH STUFF FOR LITTLE PEOPLE

I wonder how often I've perceived my children to be disobedient, when all they're trying to do is remember all these confounded things they're supposed to be doing!

How much more gentle would I be if I placed myself in my children's shoes more often?

I surely don't want to exasperate their little hearts.  But when my vision is too narrow to see things from their perspective that's exactly what I will do.

If something is not defiant rebellion (i.e. you know for certain they heard you tell them something and they just flat out ignored you) then gentle reminders are going to go a lot further than stern discipline.  Overreacting to the fact that your child forgot to take out the trash is only going to make him feel angry or discouraged.

Maybe you're thinking, “But how is he going to learn to cement these principles into his head?!  It's important that my child learn to ____ (fulfill responsibility, treat others properly, etc.)”

You're right!  I'm not saying that treating our children gently when they forget something means that we overlook the problem.  Sometimes there are natural consequences that will teach a better lesson than harsh discipline ever would.

When my son neglects to take out the trash, the job gets nastier and nastier.  It piles up higher and higher and begins to spill out into the trash pullout.  By the time he finally gets around to doing his job, the bag is so full that it's difficult to pull out of the can, spilling even more trash onto the floor.  Now he has to pick up the dirty diapers, food remnants, and who-knows-what-else that has fallen all over the place.  He has also added to the work because he has to sweep the floor around the trash can, clean out the trash pull-out, and even scrub off all the dried on food that fell down there.  It's not a pleasant task.  And hopefully he's saying, “Note to self:  Take out the trash before it gets to this point next time!”

When there is willful defiance involved, you may need to look for other means of correction (as well as determining if there is an underlying emotional need that is not being met so that it can be remedied.)

But otherwise, just remember that it's hard to be a kid!

THEY'RE DOING A GREAT JOB

Often on particularly difficult days when there have been a lot of reminders needed and I can sense my kids beginning to feel discouraged, I tell them, “You're doing a great job being ___ (9 or whatever age they are)!  There's a lot of stuff to learn and remember, isn't there?”

I know how easy it is for me to feel like I am failing at life and to berate myself for not being more organized or getting dinner on the table on time or keeping the house cleaner or whatever.  And that's without anyone jumping all over me about it.

Our kids probably feel the same way sometimes.  On top of learning times tables and spelling words and being tested over it all, they also have to learn how to think of others before themselves, how to keep their things neat, and which items in the house they may not touch; they must remember to wash their hands after they use the bathroom, say please when they ask for something, and put their dirty clothes in the hamper when they change.

They're basically learning or reviewing new things from the time they get up until they go to bed at night!

Maybe if we can keep that in mind we'll be a little less hard on them when they slip up, eh?

This post is part of the parenting with gentleness series.

Free Menu Planning Printables

Do you need help staying on top of menu planning?  I've created a set of free menu planning lists and shopping lists for you!  Pretty things always make these tasks more fun!

To receive the printables, just enter your information in the form below.

Yay!  Click here to download the menu and shopping list. Plus, check your inbox for another gift from me! 

The Crazy Easy Way I Plan My Menus With Trello

Have you all ever used Trello?  It's an app that can be used on your desktop, phone, or tablet, and I use it to organize pretty much everything! (It's also free!)  I can share boards with my husband, and they will sync to his phone or sync to the desktop.  So, for example since I make my menu and shopping list on Trello, I can have him stop by the store if he's out, and I don't have to give him a big list of stuff because it's already on his phone.

There is so much you can do with it, but I'm just going to show you how I use it to plan my menus and shopping lists.

Step One:

First, I created a board called “Menus”.  Here's what it looks like:

Step Two:

Now, on that board I can add as many lists as I want.  So you can see that my list on the left is called “Dinner Menu Ideas”, and then I make a new list each time I create a menu.

Step Three:

Once I create a list, I can create what are called cards.  I can also add as many cards as I want.  So I created a bunch of cards, each with a dinner idea. I added family favorites, and I also add recipes I come across that I'd like to try.  I name the card whatever the meal is, and then I can click on the card to add comments to it.  So I add things like the link to where the recipe is or tweaks I made to the recipe that we liked.

Now I have a good list from which to draw whenever I make my menu for the week, and I don't have to start from scratch.

Step Four:

Each time I'm ready to make my weekly menu, I create a new list. (I actually have been making a 2-week menu and shopping only twice a month.  It's working out great!)

I make a card for each day of the week, and then I click on it and add the meal I potentially want to have that day.  I try to think about what is going on that day and whether I'll need something quick and easy or a crockpot meal or whatever.  But I don't spend a ton of time thinking about it because I know things will end up getting switched around.  The important thing is that I know what groceries I need to buy so I have them on hand for whatever day I end up using them.

Step Five:

Once I have enough meals decided on, I go through and add all the ingredients to my master shopping list.  When things are busy and I don't have time to create a brand new menu, I just choose one that is already made, and I already have the week's shopping list made out for me.

I add every ingredient to the list even if I already have it on hand because if I ever use that list in the future I may not have that item on hand then.

Step Six:

If you're the type who wants to cross items off your list as you go, but you don't want to end up deleting all the items off your master shopping list, here's a way around that.  Click the card and select “copy”.  It will create an exact copy of your shopping list, and you can use that list when you shop.  Just open it up on your phone and delete the items as they go into your cart.

I am loving this system and how quick and easy it is!  And the great part is that it gets easier over time because there are more and more menus from which I can choose if I ever want to skip planning a new one.

If you feel cross-eyed opening up Trello, you could do this same system just using a notebook and pen.

Dedicate a page to your dinner ideas, and then dedicate a page to each week's menu and shopping list.  Save your notebook, and over time you'll end up with a nice collection of ready-made menus that you can pull out and use.

If that still sounds like too much work, there is always the option to use Build a Menu's “Done 4 You” menu plans.  Each week they email you a pre-made menu and shopping list.  And if you have special dietary needs, they have lots of options such as gluten free menus, paleo menus, Trim Healthy Mama menus, etc.

Meal Planning Made Easy (Free 5 Day Challenge)

Are you constantly overwhelmed and behind when it comes to meal times?

Do you find yourself resorting once again to cooking food from a box or can because you just don't know what else to make?

Do you feel guilty that you're not doing a better job feeding your family?

Does it seem impossible to cook healthy meals and still find time to fit in all of the cleaning, kid's activities, and some time for yourself?

You don't have to feel overwhelmed, guilty, or stuck any more!

Join the 5 day meal planning challenge, and learn how to:

• Plan meals quickly
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• Be prepared for meal times day after day

This challenge is available inside the free resource library. Sign up below to get this challenge and other great downloads for homemakers!

Our Favorite Source for Baby Holiday Clothes

This post is sponsored by Carter's; however, all thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.

I don't know about you, but I love the holidays!

Spending time with family is probably my very favorite thing to do.  I am so blessed to have parents, siblings, and in-laws all living fairly close.  But even so, we never seem to get together as often as we'd like.  So when there is a holiday and all the men-folk are off work, we snatch up the opportunity to spend some time together.

My parents or in-laws' house is filled with food, laughter, games, and grandkids galore!

Oh yes, make no mistake, it is the babies who are the stars of the show.  Not only do my parents and in-laws eat up their baby time, but my husband's and my siblings have a tendency to be quite the doting aunts and uncles too!

It just so happens that this year, we have the youngest baby in the family, so she's going to be getting a lot of attention.  (Not that the other little ones don't, but you know how fast they grow!  Everybody's got to get their fill of chubby baby cheeks while they can!)

I like to make sure she has clothing that will keep her super comfortable while being passed around from aunt to uncle to cousin to grandparent.  But of course I want her to look cute too!

I was super excited to partner with Carter's to feature some of their winter selections, and my oldest daughter and I had a good time shopping together to pick out some cute outfits and PJ's for baby sister.

We had a great time exploring all the options – from frilly holiday dresses to cozy PJ's, and everything in between, there were plenty of choices for everyone.

I forgot to get any pictures while we were in the store – probably because my daughter was distracting me with repeated requests to try on the glittery gold shoes she found.  But these are a couple of the holiday outfits that caught my eye.  Aren't they cute?

They have tons more holiday selections too.  Take a look at all of their baby holiday clothes here!

What I love about Carter's is that they have some of the cutest and best quality baby clothes available, but the prices are always affordable, especially when you shop their sales.

Oh!  And if you're planning to do Black Friday shopping, you will definitely want to put Carters on your list!  In addition to some fantastic deals, they'll also be having a “Dash In to Win” sweepstakes that will award promo cards to the first 100 people to arrive at their local Carters or OshKosh store!  (Find your local store here to find out whether the sweepstakes will be held on Thanksgiving day or on Black Friday.  Whether or not stores are open on Thanksgiving varies by location.)

Plus, you can print this 20% off coupon to use as well: (Just click on the image.)

And PJ's!  Don't forget the PJ's!  They have some adorable boy pajamas and girl pajamas.  They have a large section of holiday pajamas as well as lots of non-holiday winter pajamas.  My oldest daughter fell in love with these and picked them out for her little sister:

We'll definitely be packing them in her diaper bag so that when the nights over spent at grandma and grandpa's house start getting long, we can get her ready for bed before we head home.

(Is she not the sweetest girl ever?)

Speaking of sweetest girl ever, I think this outfit is adorable!  It's going to serve her well at our holiday get-togethers.  I was so happy to find outfits that had both a long sleeve shirt and a short sleeve shirt because even though it's winter it doesn't always get super cold here in North Carolina.  And when there are lots of people all crowded into one room, it can get a little toasty inside.  This is going to be the perfect outfit for her to get passed around in.

I'm eagerly anticipating spending some quality time with family, and I'm so thankful for the comfortable, yet adorable clothes our littlest has while she is being adored by everyone.

One Essential Aspect of Child Safety You May be Overlooking

This post was sponsored by the Window Covering Safety Council as part of an Influencer Activation for Influence Central. All opinions expressed in my post are my own.

Before our first child was born, my husband and I were like any first-time parents.  We read and researched and made sure we had all of our ducks in a row to keep our little one safe.  I know that safety is of the Lord, and ultimately we depend on Him to protect our children.

But of course, we are to be responsible parents since He has placed those children in our care.

One of our first child safety updates around the house was to replace all the window blinds with cordless shades.  I wanted to make sure that was taken care of before he got old enough to start toddling around.  It was an extra expense that we really didn't have the money for at the time, but it was one that we found the money for because it was a priority for us.

You might not imagine that window blinds would be such a big deal.  I mean, we all think about plugging the outlets, but replacing the blinds?  I know I wouldn't have really even thought about it, except for the fact that I knew family whose toddler son suffered irreparable brain damage when his neck got caught in a window cord.

They loved him well.  Oh, how they loved him!  But his family went through a lifetime of trials from that accident.  God used their son's life for His glory, for sure.  But there was still grief and heartache intertwined.  I know they would go through it all again if it meant that God would be glorified through his life and theirs.  But that didn't mean it was easy.  I'm sure I don't even know the half of all they suffered.  And I'm sure they wouldn't desire other families to endure what they and their son went through.

The Window Covering Safety Council urges parents to install only cordless window coverings or ones with inaccessible cords if you have young children in the home.

I want to help get that message out.  I happened to know this precious family's story, which helped me to be aware of what could happen, but not all parents are aware of just how dangerous a window cord can be.

October is National Window Covering Safety Month, so this is a great time to help spread the message.

Exposed and dangling cords pose a strangulation hazard to infants and young children.  Please do not keep these types of window coverings in your home!

When shopping for suitable replacements, you can look for the “Best for Kids” label to help you easily identify cordless options.  “Best for Kids” products are currently available at major retails across the country.

You can find out more about safe window coverings for kids at the Window Covering Safety Council Website.

The following infographic contains more ideas for keeping your children safe around window coverings:

Did you realize that window coverings could be such a danger to your children?